*bEauTiFuL, lOvEd anD blEssEd~~*

dear fellow bloggers....you may find it weird as to why i have not been updating here...well..thats cuz i have moved on to a new blog..simple as that :)

www.wretch.cc/blog/jungsungji13

First of all, I really need to apologise for not blogging for like nearly a month? The reason being I was too busy with my musical. I did not even have time to properly catch up with schoolwork, much less blog.

As you can see, I put Jolin's pic up there for a reason. Yup, I went to her concert and wow, all of us were blown away!!! I shall be unconventional and look at the flaws first:
Firstly, I think she was sick that night, for her voice was quite nasal and high pitched, quite not like her usual tone. But maybe it was with the sound system, as halfway into the show, her voice was nearer to her usual level, but it was still higher nevertheless.
Secondly, her dance moves were not to the point. Yes, they were fanciful and full of "patterns", but when it comes to dance, it is always better to have a strong basic foundation and then build on it. It goes the same for sinmging as well, and I don't think I have a good foundation in singing skills :P
Third and lastly, I am now convinced that many of her styles and themes are copied from foreign artistes. The most prominent being she did an almost exact replica of Beyonce's dance routine of "Ring The Alarm" at the MTV Video Music Awards last year. Another instance would be her make up and persona resembled a lot like Koda Kumi and Ayumi at some points of the concert.

Alright, enough of the fallacies, and here comes the excellence!
1) Even if she copied the mega superstars, and Jolin is a superstar herself anyway, it takes mega talent to copy with style, and Jolin did it. Before reading on, I would like you to watch the Beyonce dance routine first :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfStCHAVEzI.

Notice how, at the middle of the dance Beyonce and her dancers leaned back so much so that their torso was almost parallel to the ground? Well, Jolin did that as well, and it's no mean feat I tell you. I takes excellent flexibility and body core strength to do that. And that's what I mean by copying with style.
2) Even though her dance moves were not to the point, her stage presence was magical. Being an amateur performer myself, I always pay attention to stage presence more than vocal capability, for I believe, that's the first thing you have to have when you wanna be a superstar. An excellent singer might not be a star, but a superstar can be both. Jolin simply electrified the whole stadium from beginning till the end.
3) I loved it when she did her slow songs. All of us loved it! In fact, I realized that it was during her slow songs that the whole stadium sang along, especially for "林蒙草的味道"，"假装" and "倒带" ...the whole stadium was singing along like they were national anthem ...how nice :)

It suddenly occured to me that she IS THE SUPERSTAR of Asia, or maybe even the world, since there were ang mohs who used ”舞娘“ for their dance competitions. Really, it takes all the luck, the hardwork and the elusive and extraordinary "magic" to be an icon. Jolin is an icon, but of course not the only one. I consider A Mei as another icon as well. Oooh....I cant wait for both of their new albums, since EMI Capitol now houses Yanzi, Amei and Jolin. Better yet, the 3 of them should have a combined concert. That would be a blast!

I still have much to write, especially about my musical and Stardust (yet another singing competition), but I think I will leave it to a few days later, less the reader will suffer from induced short attention span from my constant ramblings :)

2 more weeks to exams!!!

For so many years I have dreamt of doing something related to the media, be it a singer, a movie star, a director, a scriptwriter and even a radio dj. Well, I am proud to say I have accomplished the last three :)I debuted my voice as a dj trainee yesterday morning at 830am.

The feeling? Wonderful. But at the same time, the control panel was totally chaotic. It occured to me that I only enjoy the talking part, not the controlling. Being a DJ means more than having the gift of the gab. It also means to be able to fight with time, to be a master of time and carefully manipulate it such that everything goes in accordance to the planned schedule. Hazards like underun and overun run abound, and being a DJ would mean to masterfully resolve those issues. Then there is the component of talking to listeners on air. Some of them were friendly, others were crude and sarcastic. So being a DJ would also mean to have adequate confidence and skin thickness :P I have sooo much to learn!!!

Nevertheless, as I always say, things happen very unexpectedly. I am certainly proud of my achievements so far. And we shall see how far I can go in this field. It is, after all, not easy, especially when I am expected to do newsreading in the future, something which I am very afraid of, simply 'cause my chinese processing speed is like 2 times slower than english, so more work must be done in that department.

Other areas of my life? I have submitted my application to swtich faculty , from life sciences to political science. People ask why political science. I say that's because I feel that it is a niche, and I am majorly concerned with environmentalism. Yet I do not wish to be a ground researcher collecting samples.I want to have enough power to make policies for the environment , on top of being an environmentalist. I thought an education in life sciences can do that, but apparently, in the Singaporean context, that is not the case. Nevertheless, I am still interested in life sciences, especially ecology and marine biology, and that shall be my 2nd major, provided I have good enough CAP and Arts actually allow that.

Two more weeks to SIngapore Biathlon and 3 more weeks to my musical. I have 3 mid terms and 2 projects to do. So tired and shag...but all is worthwhile. Jiayou~

And so, I got kicked out of TalentQuest in the quarterfinals. Seriously, that was unexpected. I thought the semis would be my end point. Afterall, personally, Talentquest is one hell of a bitch to crack through. This is my third time in this competition, with the first 2 being shown out of the door in the first round. Hence, this is my best showing so far (for TalentQuest). But is it enough?

I personally think I have practised very hard for the stint, maybe too enough. Comments came back from the ground that my vocals did not match my showmanship, and sometimes my actions were too big for the song. Indeed, stage presence and showmanship has always been my forte. I have the ability to connect with the audience, but I think its high time to develop the vocal department.

2 days later I sang a central forum, and as if the defeat at TalentQuest was not devastating enough, I sang off and could not reach the high notes. That actually did it for me. I thought I damaged my vocal chords by singing too much rock. I thought thats the end of my passion. I thought everything bleak and grey. I thought this thought would last for the next few weeks, but it did not. In fact, it lasted less than a day, and the reason? : friends

I started out going for competitions at 15, and all along, I never asked anyone I know to support me whenever I sing. The reason is very simple: I was scared of embarrassment. Imagine, your friends coming down all the way to support you, and yet you failed to get through, wouldnt that make you feel guilty? Hence, to prevent such feelings, this "no-friends-to-come-down-and-support" ideology remained strong till now.

But, for this Talentquest, it was different. For the first time, I saw many people I know going there to cheer for me, to vote for me (there was a voting component, which I happily took 4th out of the 20 places :) )
It suddenly occured to me that winning or losing did not matter at all to these precious friends. They were there just to hear me sing. The ability to have people go down and support you is testimony that in their eyes, you have that standard, that your voice has the ability to touch their hearts, or simply, you just connect with them.

There are many aspects of a competition. Of course the most visible one is the results. But after 6 years of comepeting, I have grown a zen attitude towards it. For when it comes to showbiz, I believe desitny plays a bigger part than effort. I choose to look at the intagibles, like how your friends comment on your performance, the good and the bad. Comepetitions are subjective events, either the judges like you, or hate you, simple as that. Had I continue blaming myself for not making it throguh any contests, I would have been dead by now.

Showbiz in general is a very cold place. Competition is very strong. Without friends serving as your support network, it is very hard to progress. So to all those who believe in me, thank you so much, I will continue working hard. To those derailers, I wont be like Tyra Banks and tell you to "kiss my a**"...I would still thank you, for where there is negativity, there is always postivity. Without negativity, I would not see positivity, just like without hackers, there wouldnt be any motivation to make the internet a secure network.

So I shall just stop singing rock songs for now, and sing songs that are more relaxed, more happy. Showmanship will shift from having a lot of actions to the kind of beauty which Stephanie Sun has : sit there on a chair and sing and still shine like a star. I think thats the ultimate of stage presence.

Onward Shun Jie!~

Almost everyone with a blog will do this, summarizing what they did for the year and place resolutions. And like almost everyone, I have difficulty sticking to resolutions. Nonetheless, we humans need anticipation and expectations everyday, that's our main driving force, I believe, though the more expecations you have the more disappointed you will be. Ironic and sad aint it~

So let's begin with how I spent 2006.

From Jan to March I was still stuck in the army. I ORD on March 16. It was pure bliss to get out of the shithole. As a person who cannot stand without having income (esp after receiving 2 years of CBRD pay), I immediately found a job at Sentosa Call Centre. March 16 was the first day of my work and it has been 9 months since that I have served on this island. Along the way there were good times and happy times; rivalry between collegues, in short, the usual things you get in the real world. That has made me grown up quite a bit, and also made me miss camp a little more. I miss the simplicity in NS. Although it is really though, but in there, it is just " Sir ask you to do you better do !" kind of mechanism, touch and go, whereas outside here you have to maul over the possible consequences after every step you take. Throw in a bunch of platoon mates to suffer with you and you are good to go actually. Then again, memories are memories. I kinda look forward to my first ICT :P

This year also marked the end of a friendship with this person I now loathe. Nothing good to say about this ...this whom I now affectionately call "organism", just that "it" created a lot of chaos in my life and I was more than happy to clear things up my way. To further reinstate my self identity which I lost along the way, I resolved to change my style, change my fitness, change my almost everything. I gave myself exactly six months, till my birthday on 13 June to morph into a better person. I succeeded. All I wish for is to see the "it's" reaction when "it" sees me again, that is , if that will ever happen. But I can do without that actually :)

Moving on, school. Finally, the much anticipated university life started in Aug with a big bang. Science Orientation Week allowed me to make a bunch of good friends. Frankly speaking, I had initial reservations to join, as I am someone who is reluctant to break out of the comfort zone (which is bad). But thank goodness I went ahead, otherwise I would have no one to rely on when I needed help in studies, or simply no one to lunch with in school.

The past semester from Aug till Nov, I perpetually packed myself to the brim by joining SOW 2007, Voices and Nam Wah Pai. I have no idea what got into me. I just wanted to do a lot of things at the same time. Couple that with my job in Sentosa and a tuition, my results eventually suffered. 2.75. That is my CAP. When I heard people around me getting as high as 4.6, it was as if I am worthless. Yes, when you are thrown into a pit of depression, self-pity seems to work its way around making you even more sad. But I think I am bouncing back quickly enough, thanks to the people who bothered listening to me sulk and give me encouragements, particularly Eugene, who told me Einstein never got an A in his life. Yeaz, results is the most important thing for students like us, but it will never define who we are, EQ is more important than IQ.

This year is also a bumper year for my performance gigs, all thanks to Voices. Voices gave me a platform to showcase and improve my singing skills, in particular stage presence. I can safely say this year would be my best year in terms of singing. I never got beyond the 2nd round whenever I join singing contests outside. But I broke records this year by making it thru 4 rounds to the semi finals at "Be A Star 2006". DJing wise I was lucky enough to be selected to take part in UFM 1003's part time DJ selection contest. Each one of us did a 5 min segment on whatever we want and present an incomplete portion on air. Each week there will be 2 contestants. The one with the higher votes will get to present the full 5 mins segment. So far, I am leading, and I pray that I will win!

Grandma passed away recently. Miss her a lot. It happened during exam break, and so it was quite hard to concentrate when mom was constantly wailing and crying away. But that changed when, according to Buddhist teachings, my grandma died a very very peaceful death. 3 days after passing away her body was still soft and pink, unlike the usual black and hard corpse you get. In addition, we discovered green crystals called "she li zi" which in Buddhism only forms in devotees who follow strictly to the teachings of the Buddha. According to that, she might be in another realm similiar to the deities, how advanced we don't know.

On the whole, I can say many things went my way in 2006, just that I exerted a lot of needless pressure on myself, so much so that whenever people see me, they thought I was actually angry at them! That came as a surprise to me, for that shows how deeply ingrained stress is within me. Just a few days back I was having a gig at one of the NTU halls' Xmas celebration when the people there told me I looked zonked out and depressed. Well, I say I am born with that kinda face, and yeaz, I do admit that I don't really smile a lot. The depressive aura I have has got to do with my childhood, but that doesnt mean I don't wanna talk to people and tell them to stay away from me.

Hence, my resolutions for 2007:

1. Smile more. Be more approachable. I have this problem of thinking that people would not wanna talk me
beacause they "don't seem" that friendly in the first place. That then leads to thinking that I am
unwelcomed which then leads to a downward spiral of self doubt. But in actual fact it is always because I
am the one who didnt seem friendly to them 'cause I didnt smile in the first place. It's a two way thing.
I believe everyone wants to make more friends. A smile will do the job.

2. NEVER PROCRASTINATE NO MORE. My results can be blamed for my waning interests in Science, but a larger
is also due to the fact that I procrastinate and leave things to the last minute. So many times in 2006 I
woke up in the morning and just lazed around, instead of doing my routine push ups and sit ups; when I got
home I would just stone instead of doing my reports and stuff. If there is one thing that I have learnt in
2006,it would be that being hardworking does not mean success, but to succeed I must be hardworking. I
witnessed the magic of being hardworking when I practised day and night for one of the Voices gig.
Because I was singing my most fav "Yong Bau", I naturally put in the biggest effot I could and would. The
feedback I got made me confident once again in being a singer. Jolin Tsai (though an unlikely source for
quotes) once said that as long as youth is by your side, you should "bia" as much as possible, for the
present world is cruel towards the aged. So yes, I shall put maximum effort in whatever I do.

3. Relax. Being hardworking is different from being stressed. My grandma's passing gave me a moment of
epiphany: no matter what we do, how much time we mull over things, we are still gonna die in the end. So
why spend so much time thinking what I should study? Why spend so much time thinking how pretty we are?
I finally understand what it means to do what I like. And I am going to do just that. I am have been to
uptight about life. I dont wanna be like my folks, both depressive and pessimistic. Each time I go home
it's like a pressure cooker. I wanna be happy~ and happy means doing the things I like.

There you go. 3 simple resolutions. 3 simple things that will make my life easier. No weight loss gimmicks or whatever. I dont need those anyway ..haah....:P

Looking ahead into 2007, there are some important things to do. Firstly, I am staying in Science for one more semester to see how things really work out. I am not going to think about arts for the moment. I mean I am taking 3 arts mods and 2 science core mods, but I am going to seperate the 2. This will mean that when I am doing science stuff, I wont go and think how wonderful it will be if I were an arts student and don't have to do all those science shit. When I attend science lectures, I shall be a science student who totally enjoys science. No distraction, no resentment. If it still does not work out, then it is time to change house.

March will be Emerge 2007, the traditon Voices always have. This year, we are putting up a musical, and being the director and screenplay for that, a lot will depend on me and another partner. This will be my debut in doing stuff that is more deep within showbiz, naturally I will do my best and hope all goes well.

Soon after will be Science Orientation Week 2007. Time to welcome the newbies. I am the event head of the whole thing, so naturally the stress is there. But I guess this is one big opportunity for me to showcase my management ability.

In between there will be gigs, singing comepetition and hopefully, hopefully, the re-born StarSearch 2007. I heard Mediacorp is bringing it back, 3 years once.

Enough of the serious stuff and let's take a look at my favourie songs and movies of 2006!

Top 10 Mandarin Songs of 2006



1. 爱无力 - 潘嘉丽
(Best song of the year. Maybe cuz I really support Kelly. Or maybe cuz this song strikes some chords within
me for no reason :) )



2. 我爱台妹 - MC Hotdog feat 张震岳
(This song suddenly made me realised, that maybe, maybe just maybe, I am a beng at heart :P )



3. 舞娘 - 蔡依林
(The way Jolin danced like she has no bones in the MTV....woot~)



4. 哭笑不得 - 柯有伦
(He is a newbie, but he rocked like a pro. Go go rock!)



5. 有些爱 - 潘嘉丽
(This song is strictly meant for lovers out there, but because it's Kelly Poon...)



6. 我要快了- 张惠妹
(Totally reflects the inner world of many urban dwellers. So much money, so dead is the soul)



7. 给我你的爱 - Tank
(The new David Tao ! )



8. Love Story - 范义臣
(Excellent love-rock song to sing to）



9. Superwoman - 曹格
（When I first heard this song, I thought it was corny. It was only when I ATTEMPTED to sing
it at K Box did I realise how difficult it is to sing this song. If Tank is the new David
Tao, I would say 曹格 to be new Jacky Cheung, except that this Jacky Cheung composes songs
:p )



10. 盖世英雄 - 王力宏
( A genius combination indeed! Who would have thought of combining Chinese Opera with pop
after Chen Shen's "One Night In Beijing" ! Jay Chou step aside la~ :P )

Top 10 English Songs of 2006



1. Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado feat Timbaland
(This song is so damn catchy! I managed to catch every single live performance of it on YouTube!)



2. Sexy Love - Neyo
(Damn groovy song to dance to. Prefer this to "So Sick". But he has to work harder to stand out)



3. Run It! - Chris Brown
(He, Neyo and Mario are the new Ushers, give them some time and watch them shine. Check out the MTV to this song...Chris has damn good moves.)



4. She Don't - LeToya
(Nothing much to this song, just that I find it very catchy. Do you know that she used to be in Destiny's Child? Yes, the group used to have 4 members!)



5. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
(Honestly speaking, I never really paid attention to this song when my friend first introduced it to me. Is it cause I dont watch Gray's Anatomy? Maybe. But when everyone seemed to be humming to that song especially during Singapore Idol, I made an effort to re-listen the song. I was hooked.)



6. Lips of An Angel - Hinder
(There's something about modern rock that attracts me. But I can't explain what it is. )



7. Call On Me - Janet Jackson
(This song came out when I was in one of those "new school term excitement", naturally lifted up my spirits many a day)

Enjoy - Janet Jackson
(One of the last few songs in her 20 Y.O album. A breath of fresh air to listen to, especially during mornings on the way to school. Simply uplifting!)



8. Fergalicious - Fergie
(SO much better than London Bridge! At least it makes sense. But I think she could have done better with the content of her songs. Where is the love?)



9. My Love - Justin Timberlake
(Sexy back is too futuristic. This one is more mainstream.)



10.Can You Feel It - Black Eyed Peas
(If you watched Take The Lead, you would also love this song. Fergie at her best.)

Top 5 movies of 2006



1. V for Vendetta
(Smart. Fast. Clever. Cut-throat. None of those pop shit. To the point. Excellent acting from Natalie Portman. You said you want a revolution? Imagine that happening in Singapore.)



2. A Dirty Carnival
(Jo In Sung at his best. Read my previous entry on the intro to this movie)



3. Step Up
(I love dance movies! The more the merrier! The funny thing about this movie is that since July, way before it was released in Singapore, I have been carrying the poster of it in my folder and walked around school since then. I publicised it on MSN, on my blog and of course using that folder. But when it finally came, I catched it only after everyone did. )



4. Take The Lead
(I love the way they mix hip hop with jazz. The soundtrack is the best man! And so was the final trio dance at the end of the flick...absolutely mesmerizing! And it suddenly occured to me that Jenna Dewan, the female lead of Step Up, was also in this flick as Sasha! )



5. Over The Hedge
(Admit it....cartoons are meant for adults nowadays. Somehow simplicity is the in thing now. The more innocent something is, the more attractive it gets. It works this way for cartoons and especially for this flick, where it has an element of adventure in it.)

Alright! Thats all for my summary of 2006! Let's hope our 2007 will be good, if not better!

Let's see...since when did I start falling in love with Korean culture? This penchant for everything Korean has developed lately to what I call hopeless: Believe it or not, I have been reading Chosun Daily (one of South Korea's largest circulating newspaper) almost everyday. That's how Korean I have evolved, so what the hell am I doing here in Singapore? HAHA! As each day passes by, my impulse of switching to Poilitcal Science grows bigger. In this way, I can work for Ministry of Foreign Affairs and throw in the ability to speak and read Korean (if, that is, I manage to do so), I would be sent to the country in no time! And there! I am stay in Korea for as long as possible and not come back! Perfect huh~

One thing is for sure: my Korean fever started way before the rest of the Asia caught up with it. I went there in 1999 and quickly, almost instantly, fell in love with the pop culture there: fashion, music and movies. And since then, it never once stopped growing in me...dramas...movies....come what may I digested them all! Muahahahaha!!! And so the only thing left is understanding the language proper. Some people may ask why, after falling in love with the culture for 7 years, I still have not yet mastered the sacred language. Well, I can only attribute it to money and procrastination, more towards the latter in fact. Sigh~ learning the language shall be my 2007 resolution !

I know this entry is a departure from my regular brooding entries. Maybe it's the hols, which means more time for myself! haha....but in any case, I shall be back before the year ends with my Top Songs and Movies of 2006. Till then...:)

PS: busanmike.blogpspot.com : an interesting insight into South Korea by a British who just moved there. Quite revelant I find, since it is written with a foreigner's point of view :)

Yes...you may ask who the hell this guy is and why am I featuring him in my first entry after the exams. Simple. Reason being, this Korean film star has always been my most favourite and respected,and this moving is freaking real and I have been wanting to watch it since it was released in Korea June 15 this year, and I finally managed to watch it, six months later.

His name is Jo In-Sung (there are 2 other versions of his name: Cho In-Sung and Jo In-Seong, which is how the Koreans address him).He is only 26 this year, and considering that he is just a young star, the quality of the films he made has given him credit as one of Korea's most promising actor.

Remember this very popular series "Piano" ? Well, that was his debut, a critically acclaimed one no less. But that was not the show that made me go "WOW!" The first time I saw his work was in this also acclaimed movie "The Classic", starring another of my favourtie actress Son Ye-Jin. At that time his acting skills was just alright and did not really leave me that a deep impression. It was only until the series "What Happened In Bali" that made me notice him. He actually had versatility. Not many actors in this world have that quality. To be versatile, one needs a lot of life experience and considering Jo to be such a young actor, he indeed has a lot of potential.

He went on making yet another series "Spring Day", portraying a young doctor who leads an aimless life and yet craves to be loved by his elder brother and the girl he loves. But it was until this movie, "A Dirty Carnival" that made the whole Korea and possibly the rest of the world realize what a good actor he is. He won the "Best Actor" award in the recent Korean Movie Awards held in Nov, for the portrayal of an unwilling, filial and relatively gentle everyday gangster that is all so common in Korean society. As much as the actor is worthwhile mentioninng, so is this movie.

Now, Korean films do not lack of gangster films, mainly because gangsterism is a very real aspect of Korean society. When I was in Korea, I was quite impressed by the way they run their organizations. All of them had to be decked in business suits and expensive shoes. They had the mannerisms of a businessman, the only difference is that their business always involves activities of "the dark side". Compare them to our ah-bengs here, we really pale in comparison.

What sets this movie apart from the rest in the same genre is the fact that this movie is super real. Other ganster films emphasise more on fighting stances, romance and drugs. While this flick does not lack any of the three, it places a very heavy emphasis on the inner world of a gangster.

We all have this pre-concept that all gangsters are evil and should be avoided at all costs and go to jail. But how many of us would really sit down and give a thought about these thugs? Do you really think that they willingly join these organizations and fight silly with baseball bats and broken glass bottles? I don't think so. We are all in the same society, controlled by the same circumstances. So many times these men become gangsters just to have enough money to support their families. So many times they wanted it out and lead a normal life, but could not because it is after all a one way road. So many times they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with the ones they love but cannot do so peacefully. And so many times they cry inside...with nowhere to head to in their future but to continue fighting...for money and for survival...

In the film Jo's character is actually kind hearted and filial. All he wanted was for his family to live comfortably. He did not receive much education, and gangsterism seemed to be the only way. Although it was gangsterism, he always emphasised to his subordinates to never use violence unless necessary; to never kill a man,ever; to always have integrity and not submit to others,even if it means to starve to death. In other words, his vision was to be a "gentleman gangster", for he never believed in evil in the first place. But as always, for what is easily gained , there is always a greater price to pay. Jo was forced to kill his boss when the latter refused to pay him enough for what he deserved. He went on to rise through the ranks,but along the way killed even more people,albeit being unwilling each time.

Jo's character had only one friend, a burgeoning film director. Jo, trusting his only friend, told him all about the killings and the massive amount of guilt he felt each time. Unfortunately, this friend went on to make a film based exactly on Jo's experience. The police made use of this film to track down Jo. Having lost his prowess, Jo's subordinate finished him at the end of the movie to prevent him from sinking the whole gang, if he were to be captured by the authorities.

This film showed the essence of society: it is a dog-eat-dog world outside. We have to be on our guard every single second. We cannot easily trust anyone at anytime. Even your best friend could stab you in the back. This is exactly why this movie outshone the rest. Movies are channels for us express the un-real side of life, to imagine rosy pictures of a perfect life and allow us to revel in it for 2 hours. But this film chooses to go the other way and show the sad side of a man's life.

While we may not be gangsters, I am sure we have many times commited things which we were unwilling to but had no other way out. While our lives may not be that bleak, there are always people out there who suffer more than us. I am not going to say "Oh...so let's live life to the fullest and just be happy!" ...for that is already cliche. But what I am going to say is this:

Be kinder than necessary..for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of a battle. There are billions of people in this world. A little tiny winy bit of kindness from everyone of us can multiply to unlimited greatness. This greatness can salvage the poor, the broken and the desolate. We are all here to learn lessons, and hopefully when we leave and go on to another world, we can bring these lessons with us. If we learn nothing and pass, then I would say we are no better than animals.

Yes...yes yes yes I know I am a student and I am supposed to devote all of my time in trying to get the ever elusive cap of 4.5. Yet I ain't. Not only am I juggling 3 CCAs and giving tuition, I am also working part time in Sentosa (those who have been reading my blog regularly will know that I have been here since I ORD in March.)

Question is..why am I still here? I mean it is not that the pay is so attractive, tution can earn even more! Honestly I still don't the reason, but I digress. The topic here is the art of survivng this shit hole called office.

We are all here in the office to work, to earn $$$, and not to make friends. Honestly, how many friends have you made in your workplace? My defination of friends mean those whom you can share your woes, those who will watch out for your back and stuff. How many? Probably none, right?

Well that's common. 'Cause in society, you only have yourself to fight the endless battles everyday in your workplace. Not only you will rarely find friends (by saying rarely, I am acknowledging that there are isolated cases whereby you can indeed find friends, like my mom), you will also find a lot of backstabbers. Now, overcoming of backstabbers is kinda like common knowledge and have been discussed through the ages and therefore shall not be discussed here. What I am more interested in, is having to deal with people whom you absolutely abhore, people who plainly pisses you off and yet were not evil enough to harm you, yet.

Picture this: You have this idiot who keeps on talking about food from dawn till dusk. He goes around bossing people as if he is the real boss. He thinks that he is fit and goes around telling people how to gym properly, when he actually has fats hidden underneath that shirt. He cleverly disses you in front of your collegues, so subtly that only you will get the hint. He goes around disturbing female collegues, from interrupting your conversations with them only because he suspects you like them, to hugging their soft back cushions till they become his. And most importantly, he stresses on social graciousness when he is doing all these stuff! What would you do?

Two ways: One) Keep quiet and mind your own business. This works if you are a girl and generally cant be bothered bout such assess mopping his "oh-i-so-need-you" charm around. I used to have this stuff who did exactly that. Say nothing, gossip nothing, see nothing: the classic see no evil method. But this method only works if you have extreme patience. But for a normal guy like me, with the usual acceptable level of ego, I will opt for method 2: NEVER BE SUBMISSIVE. When it comes to guy and guy rivalry, it is almost always a display of strength. Since I am a civilized person(and I believe you are as well), the strentgh I am refering here is not physical but more of mental. The more he disses you, the more resolved and intense you shall me. For example, since he has been dominating the conversations in the office, do yourself and the female collegues a favour and step up on your social interaction with them. Initially when you begin, Mr Idiot can easily overcome you by changing topic. DO NOT BE DETERRED. Newton's third law says that for every action there is an equal reaction. Not only I suggest you follow that law, you should break that law. BE MORE INTENSE THAN HIM. If he is already talkative, BE MORE talkative than him. And the stuff you talk about must not be nonsensical, since that will make a bigger fool out of yourself. Talk intellectual stuff. Be a gentleman. To girls talk about fashion and shopping. To males talk about cars and girls (discreetly). To gays talk about being metro. To you superior talk about families. Whatever it is, versatility wins the battle.

NEVER SUBMIT. Never allow yourself to be suppressed. Fight the battle with a clear heart. Never use underhand methods. Use your intelligence. I always believe that knowledge and intelligence means power, instead of money. Use it efficiently and good willingly. You shall see the idiot reduced to pieces eventually. He may dominate the office now, but what goes around comes around. Your time shall come one day. Patience is a virtue, but waiting silly for a miracle to happen is also dumbness. If nothing happens even after you have tried, do not waste your youth fighting an uphill battle. Either switch to method one and be totally "zen" about it, or switch to another workplace altogether. But problems will still arise if you do not change your attitude.

So always remember: fortify yourself. Equip yourself with variety. Be humble. You will be salvaged from the shithole called office. :)

What I am going to type will be disjointed events that have no link to one another. I have not come here as often as before I entered NUS, and there are just so many things I need to say before they all go paralysing my mind. Here goes:

My grandma is going to pass. As of now, Mom and Aunt are on the plane to China to see her for one last time. Mom has been crying for the past few days, so afraid that she might not be able to do that,while Aunt has been keeping her cool and dealing with this issue objectively.

When I first heard the news, there was this strange sense of sadness in me. Death can be so powerful. Even though Grandma was not as close to me since puberty, she was after all the main figure during my childhood: cooking my meals for me, taking me to the clinic whenever I had those rough coughs, caning me whenever I played punk with her and even sucking out my mucus when there was too much in my nose and I could not breathe properly. This was how much she loved me.

F**k...tears are flowing down now....

Her life was not good at all. Grandad never loved her, it was an arranged marriage and they had no choice. She did not know how to socialise with people well, often offending her friends and relatives. By the time I was 16, she had no friends at all and would always coop at home, staring blankly in the air. With no one to talk to, she would talk to herself, and this kind of life continued since then. Her loneliness turned to mistrust and inferiority, and ultimately hatred. She began to suspect that everyone was after her money, even though that was not the case. Many times she would quarrel with Mom and Aunt over simple things.

But I never blame her for that. She was uneducated after all, and despite that, she did more than what she could to raise Mom and Aunt. She has delivered and there is really nothing we could ask of her. As much as I do not want her to leave so soon, maybe Death is her ultimate saviour. Death can end her sorrows in this life and maybe begin a brand new one the next. I am a firm believer of karma. You may suffer in this life and maybe the next or even next next life,but one day you will be redeemed and rewarded. I believe, for whatever sins Grandma committed in her past life, she has paid enough in this life, and I pray as hard as ever that she will be happy in her next.

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Next Thursday will be the first time I sing Mayday's "Yong Bao". To me, it is the most beautifully written song with excellent lyrics and addictive melody. This song talks about being alone and in that state of needing and wanting love so badly that you are willing to sacrifice everything just to have a taste of what true love means. The song never fails to bring me into a magical, magical wonderland where things are bright and dark at the same time.

As much as how appealing this song is to me, this will also be the most challenging number I am going to sing. I have always been a minus one singer, singing using songs with their original vocals removed. And all of a sudden, "Yong Bao" requires a keyboardist, 2 guitars and one drum set. In addition to this "live" mania, the song starts off being mellow, and then suddenly escalates exponentially till the very end. Having sung all kinds of ballads, singing a rock song of this level is indeed very challenging.

But it has always been a personal wish of mine to perform this song. Ever since I heard it back in 2004, I would always listen to this song watching the sunset in my camp during my period of stay in. And now the chance is finally here. I will nail it. I promise.

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Continuing my previous entry about my dilemma about staying in life sciences, I went to the temple to draw lots from Guanyin, asking her whether I should continue staying in Scinece or just switch to Arts. It ended up to be a "xia xia qian" and was something like this: You are just like a fish out of cold water. Move and you will be killed.

Now, there are 2 ways to interpret it: Either my stay in Science is out of my element, or my switch to Arts will be disastrous. For the first time I don't understand what a "qian" is trying to tell me. So I went to this Uncle and allowed him to intepret it for me.

He said I am blessed with the intelligence of Confucias, just that my heart is not in my studies at the moment. It is flying everywhere, and family pressure is the biggest factor. Indeed, many times I will worry for my mom. After all, 2 cancer strikes has left her emotionally brittle. I live with a constant fear that her depression will cause her life. I really fear that. He also added that there have been a lot of "xiao ren" around me lately, causing my luck to go down the drain( I lost 2 phones and spoilt one in 2 months).

He then wrote my Chinese characters on those papers meant to be burnt, and this other guy led me to the 2nd floor. From there, this lady took over and led me into a shop where there were lots of deity statues being placed everywhere. Being not very familiar with these sort of stuff, I wondered whether it was some black magic setup of some sort. But intuition and logic told me otherwise. No black magic would dare to exist opposite Singapore's most revered and credited temple .

The lady brought me to the altar and read what was written on the paper. She said the same thing as the uncle, but added that my intelligence has the capacity to allow me to succeed in anything subjects I read. This reminds me of what a fortune teller once told me, that my luck would be so strong that nothing or no one could defeat me except myself. Indeed, I have allowed myself to be defeated a lot of times due to procrastination or inferiority. All those praying jargon I knew not, I just followed instructions and prayed to this particular deity who blesses people with intelligence. The lady told me to clear my heart of negative thoughts and just totally dive into studies and give my best shot to whatever I do.

At the end of the day, my mom made the most sense out of it. Upon telling her this episode, she revealed that when I changed my name at 12, she ran my birth details with a fortune teller and was surprised to hear that my life path would be smooth, just that I would be riding in an old, broken car. She never understood what it meant. After all, I have always excelled in school in all areas. It was until she recently that the moment of epiphany came.

I am prone to suffer from internal conflicts with the self. I am interested in Arts, yet my personality is too reserved to succeed in that field. I don't like parties, I don't know how to interact well with people...neither am I a good talker. I excel in Science, yet my personality isn't serious enough to be content with research life. I find it boring and don't see myself in a career like that. In the end, I am in the middle of nowhere, neither here nor there.

It makes total sense. I realize I have been fighting myself all along, and that why the only person who could defeat me is myself. My mind wants to move forward, but my heart pulls it back.

But there is nothing I can do. If I have evolved as a person to be like this, I can do nothing. The only thing I can do now is to do my best. Martial arts...singing..studies..SOW....just do my best. I don't believe I can change my destiny, neither do I belive in knowing too much about it. There is a saying that the more one goes to a fortune teller, the shorter his life will get. As much as I want to know what will happen to me , I rather go along with the flow. After all, life is dynamic. It is fluid and changes its course all the time. There is no way to know for sure what will happen to me.

We are all just gonna die one day. Sometimes I think mulling over such issues is a waste of time. Whatever we do in this life is of no immediate concern to the future generations. Yes, we will contribute to society and stuff, but just as I am living right now, I will not go around looking for the person who contructed the road lamp next to me.

Death is fast and swift. People will remember you for a while, but not forever.

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Am I making sense? I hope so...but even if I don't..it doesnt matter. A lot of things don't make sense now anyway...

The day that shook Life Sciences Year One students upside down. TODAY came out with its cover story saying life sciences graduates are only fit enough to wash test tubes in labs. There are just too many of us now. And the current working graduates belong to only the first batch of seniors. There are still 3 more batches ahead of us freshies. What are we gonna do?

That day, my statistics professor gave us a very serious advice: If you take LS just to get a degree, please change another major. You will not have any future without passion in science. So echoes another proff during freshman seminar: Learning something you are not interested is just like swimming with your arms wide open. I spent 12 years researching chemistry and I still love it. Will you guys ? Will you see yourself living the research life after graduation? None of us raised our hands for that question.

Most of us are there just for the sake of the degree, simply because LS is the most popular and prestigious degree now. But many of us have failed to forsee that 4 years down the road, things will change again. Already the market is saturated, who knows what will happen in 4 years time.

On my part, I did forsee this problem, just that my problem lies in my failure to go with my passion : arts. I have always been more of an expressive rather than a technical person. Yet because I spent ten years of education in Science and did very well in it, I just went with the flow. But more importantly, I did not have the courage to go Arts. All along people have been saying an Arts degree will not get you anywhere; a science one is better. This idea has been reinforced to me by my folks since young. And so I grew up with this notion. But being an adult now, the true me is struggling to burst out of this stigma and attempt to prove that I can excel with an Arts degree too.

What shall I do now? Continue with LS? But I will never do research,I have no interest in it. Biology has always been my best subject, and I am interested in life on Earth, but not the laborataries. Yet a science graduate can also do what an arts graduate do, while an arts graduate can never do what a science graduate can do.

Passion over reality or is passion reality as well. I don't want a life whereby I earn freaking loads of cash but am unhappy. I strongly believe that when a person does that, ultimately, he will just quit that job and do what he loves the most. But by that time, youth may have said goodbye and precious time would not come back again for personal breakthroughs.

There's just too much in life to think bout such things. There is a Chinese saying: "tian wu jue ren zhi lu" which I so much agree. We create our own opportunities, so long as we strive and do our best in whatever we do. Only the lazy will have no roads to take.

But it still boils down to this: Science or Arts now? Someday I'll just know.

Oh my! I cannot believe it but its actually term break! One whole week of no school (technically). Even though I would still have to go back to conduct interviews and stuff, I can AT LEAST sleep for full 8 hours everyday now. When one reaches the depths of desperation, sleep seems to be the only thing that mattered, and the only antidote, might I add.


The past 2 months have been too rush. I did not have the time to sit down and think. Just think about anything. I was like being pushed forward by life, and not knowing where to go.I joined this joined that; I failed for superstar; I met new people, yet, somehow, I felt isolated.

Seriously, I am on my own . Everyone is on their own in university. One has to depend on himself for things to be done. And I have procrastinated too much for my own good. A few weeks back I had my fortune read and the fortune teller told me that in this life, my luck will be so strong that the only person who can defeat me is myself.

I don't know whether I am still interested in science or not. It seems as if it has been a struggle for me to grasp all those concepts once again. Maybe it's the 2 years break in the army that results in this. But my love for the arts is undeniable. Then again, giving up science is suicidal, since studying science part-time while working full time is more taxing than taking arts.

I feel alone. :( Simple as that. I don't know why. It's like whenever I am around with people, I try very hard to make the best impression, but it always turns out the other way. So much so that I have become very unsure of myself. I don't know how to define myself anymore.

I think my life is too cluttered. I do not even have the time to watch a movie. I need to clear it up fast and quick, before I really lose it.

I did not get into superstar. How many of you think I should be sad and how many of you out there think I am actually alright? Well, I was sad the instant that red light buzzed me out of the audition room. I was shocked and dismayed. After so many months of preparation and friends' expectations, I did not even make it through the first round. Then came the excuses. That the judges sucked. That they were too strict this year (which objectively, is true. Last year, 6 out of my group of ten got through the first round. This time, none out of the ten got in. )

Not wanting to stay in that shitty place, I went on retail therapy and bought clothes and Xtina Aguilera's "Back To Basics" to soothe the soul. I pondered why I did not get in. I pondered and pondered, and then, it hit me. Yes, the truth hit me.

All along my mindset towards performing has been wrong. I performed to be famous. I joined the wannabes in these competitions to make it big. Making it big was my only goal. I focused on it so much so that I totally missed the essence of performing. To perform is to tell a story, not to show off. To perform is to touch the audience and connect with them, not to feel popular from the applause the audience give. I totally missed that.

I have also realized that in my life, whenever I try very hard to get something, that thing would be just as elusive. It is always when I least expect it to happen that desirable things take place. I have tried too hard. Especially when it comes to stardom, it mostly depends on whether I am "meant to be" or "destined to be". In this context, it is really useless to try too hard, since these external factors are really beyond control.

Revolution 130606 has taught me to look things on 2 sides. Now that this competition is out of my sight, I can concentrate on studies, and enjoy campus life even more. After all, these are my last 4 years as a student, and I certainly will not want to miss it just like that.

After that moment of epiphany, I suddenly felt relaxed. No more constant worry about having to juggle studies with outside stuff. I dont need to quit my part time job just to take part in these competitions.

Frankly speaking, showbiz is really tough. Late nights, lack of sleep and most importantly, politics. I can never handle politics well. I suck at discerning from good and bad. And I trust people willingly without much thought. Take another closer look at the competition, isn;t it fishy that all the judges have music schools and that all but 2 of the contestants came from all these schools? My friend who was at LW* Music School told me way before the competition, they had already chosen among their students who to join the competition and eventually end up in the Top 24. The majority of those who queued up are just "props" for the show to go on. Of course there will be blackhorses along the way, but no as many as the "musically educated" ones.

Do I sound like I am making excuses? Maybe, but my state of mind now doesnt need excuses to make myself feel better. I perform for the love of performing now. Whatever happens will happen, just go with the flow. Period.

I am so shagged. I am so exhausted. I am burnt out. I have been reduced to ashes. Yes, college life is indeed so very fun. But I think I have too much at hand. I have a part time job in Sentosa. I am giving tuition. I have 5 modules to study. I am in Voices, rehearsals on Thurs. And finally, I have wushu on Mon and Fri, 3 hours each. I am maxed out and tired.

I know I need to let go some stuff. And looking at the stuff I do, I think I can only give up wushu or my job. But, I still wanna have both! Haiz...humans are like that...never wanting to let go...causing all kinds of misery.

But on a brighter note: SUPERSTAR IS TOMMORROW!!!! All the months of preparation, all the style revamp and weight gain (even though I lost some again due to wushu..grr) and all the anticipation will all roll into one and start intensifying tommorrow !

All of a sudden I am afraid. I am scared I cannot even get through the first round. Anticipation causes expectations. And expectations are a kind of double-edged sword. It makes you confident on stage, yet it drives you into the wallows of misery when you fail to make it further.

My friends say I think too much. This kind of thing, I must approach it in a relaxed mood. Everything has to be let down. Everything has to be in my own skin. I find myself performing the best when I do not care about anything indeed. May this mood happen tommorrow and all the way through to the finals, if I am that good. :)

I was talking to my Dad on the phone when he told me that scientists have decided to pull Pluto out of our solar system. I refused to believe him and thought he was joking or something,until I saw Channel8 news reporting the same thing an hour later.

For someone who has always regarded astronomy and astology as heavenly, this piece of news is really a bomb. Although I specialised mostly on Mars, Venus and comets, I grew up accepting the Solar System as it is: 9 of them happily circling around the Sun = one big happy family. This sudden demotion of Pluto is ....unwelcomed for me.

After all, what gives humans the right to just anyhow promote or demote heavenly bodies ? Humans are just mere specks of electrons in this universe! What right do we have to classify this as planet and that as a dwarf planet? SO EGO!!!!

My take is to just leave them alone. The planets will not give a hoot whether we see them as pulsars or black holes. They will continue to be heliocentric and mind their own business. I suggest we stop bothering about such things and concentrate more on things on this planet. There are people dying out there 'cause of war, famine and disasters. In less than 100 years all our fossil fuels will be gone. Have we thought of ways to proliferate alternative energy sources? Or are we still stuck in the lust for consumerism? Cause seriously, if we still choose to ignore this problem, all of us are just going to have to do without technology and all.

I am not attacking astronomy. I love astronomy. I just wish that we can put the right amount of emphasis on the right things on Earth.

The reason why I have not been writing here for more than 2 weeks was because of Science Orientation Week 2006. Everyday was fun day playing games and just fooling around with my OG mates.

Initially, I did not intend to take part in it at all, 'cause I had to work and stuff, but I decided it was still important to go and make new friends, for without them, college life would be very bland, and it would suck to go from lecture to lecture without anyone to talk to. And thank God I went!

I would always remember the nights when we played "Werewolf" (it is actually a simple game using poker cards. There would be 2 wolves, each one holding on to a jack, one sighter to guess the wolves, holding on to a king, one priest to protect the anyone the wolves tried to kill, while the rest are civilians.) We laughed like there was no tommorrow. While the rest of the OGs were already sleeping, we continued to play till 6 am in the morn, calling each other names and basically just had fun.

I would forever remember fright night, when I actually "hai daied" the "ghosts" at the stairs. I have no idea why I did that at that time, maybe it was 'cause to me, SOW meant to open up your mind and do things you normally would never do and try new things. And so I did it out of fun, AND NOT WITH THE INTENTION TO SABOTAGE THE SENIORS,REALLY. I did not physically attack the seniors, nor call them names or whatever, I basically pulled my partner along while I kept on "hai dai hai dai and more hai dai " to speed things up 'cause she was really scared. It was not until when we finally came out of the station that we realized we were supposed to talk to the "ghosts" and hear their stories. It merely took me an instant to realize what I did could be considered fun to some, but also rude to many , especially the seniors. And so, for stations 2 and 3, I simply let down my guard and screamed along with my partner!!!! 'Cause when it comes to this kinda stuff, it is either you refuse to be entertained and treat the whole process as a kid's joke, or you tell yourself to just open up and be scared for the sake of being scared. To the seniors, I apologise for my "hai dai".....it was all in the name of fun...but really, you guys were damn good in the make-up and the whole setting! :)

And of course, all those fun games we played in campus and Sentosa! Mummies Alive was super united and excellent, winning almost ever challenge :)

I saw many different kinds of leaders in SOW. There were hard-working ones like my OGLs, there were entertaining ones and most notably, the charismatic and inspiring one, SOW Director. His form of leadership was just effortless. It seemed so natural for him to just blabber and talk cock and still be able to bring the message across and not make it sound so serious at the same time. Throughout my sec and jc life I tried to lead like him, but I realized that some people are just born leaders with qualities unique to themselves, while others are trained by the enviroment, and I belong to the latter and I gladly accept that :)

Rag was really uplifting. Once again, the seniors' leadership brought the whole fac together and we cheered like omg whoa! If there was a "Best Cheering Faculty", we would have gotten it with ample ease.Unfortunately, not only was there no such prize, we also gave back our challenge shield to Biz Ad. It was really saddening. I saw many people tearing almost immediately after knowing we lost. I tried to hold back mine, knowing the more people cry, the worse it will get, but I still failed in the end.

Nevertheless, SOW really changed my view on Science Fac. Before that I thought I would just be mugging around school, not taking part in any activities and just concentrate on making money outside. But now, there seemed to be so much to do for the faculty, and winning back the shield would be my priority. In any case, thank you so much seniors for making it a wonderful time for us..really appreciate it...it was not easy..but you guys made it..be proud :)

My current msn nick speaks volume about the unfairness of the NUS Science Faculty in having to ballot for a space in the orientation week camp. I mean, as a freshman, they would have to make sure everyone who wants to join to have a spot, even though it is possible for us to figure out things ourselves. But it is always better to know people around. Friends are crucial in college.

And so one of my friend saw it and messged me : "Please, you are lucky that you ONLY have to ballot! Look at what NTU sports camp did! They actually asked me to send in a photo of myself! And guess what? I did not get in! "

I was truly shocked. My friend ran for the unit in AHM, is an ultra athelete with bootylicious body the girls will kill for, and yet, he did not get in. I must admit his looks are average, but he IS NOT UGLY! Even if he is, you mean to say he has to be handsome to get into a SPORTS camp? I thought that should apply to frats????

After which I asked my friend who was an organiser of the sports camp. He confirmed that it was true, that because over 1000 applied for 160 places, they had to choose, and what better way to choose the good looking ones. After all, both the girls and the guys get to benefit from it, ain't it?

I protested the utter superficiality here. He simply retorted that life has always been this unfair, and its really a way of life: the good looking ones always get more than the rest.

As much as I hate to agree to it, I have to say it's true. Life is unfair. It pays to be good looking. You never see ugly singers (even if you are, make-up, diet and photoshop will solve the problem). Air stewards are also presentable. You get better service if you are good looking. You get more friends if you are good looking. You get more of everything.

Yes, we are animals after all. Can't deny that. Animals choose mating partners by their appearance, so do we.

The thing is, so many of us go after the good looking ones, making the latter's ego go way sky high. But age is merciless. Age will rob away the physical beauty of an individual. And once that happens, the ex-good looking guy/girl would have spent too much time meddling with admirers when he was young that he would have neglected their internal beauty, which is what stands out ultimately.

I ain't saying all attractive souls out there are like that, esp when beauty is subjective. But to those out there who have never been kissed, patience is virtue. Always trust that one day, you shall be appreciated and you will shine. Never change yourself to fit society's mould of beauty. That is not you. In this age of plasticity and artificiality, it is wise to go the other way to stay simple, natural and honest. That is the best way to stand out. Campaign for real beauty!

Yes, many young Singaporeans are moving away. It may not be physical, it can be mental as well. Many times I would imagine myself touring Europe or residing in the states and do the things I want to do.

I think the main cause of this escapism is this country being small and practical. Young people nowadays have a lot of things on their minds. We want to become professional adventurers, sportsman, journalists or even writers. I, for one, would love to become a professional performer. But this country, being small , has brought us up to mainly care about how we should and could survive in a small society like this.

We are often drilled with the notion that we have better to do something that is practical and current and connected in order to survive. Just look at the courses offered in our Universities. You can never find Marine Biology, Mythology or Spanish studies as majors. What we have here are always the ones that can guarantee, or should I say , give us a greater edge in securing a good job and live a life comfortably.

But a comfortable life may not mean a happy life. This country places reality over passion. So many people dread their jobs. Professional photographer or accountant? Of course accountant, because there is a strong demand for accountants and also the pay is better.

Opportunity, opportunity and more opportunities. Youngsters flock overseas in search for that. The states, Europe, Middle East and China are all places with demands for all kinds of talents, in which all kinds of passion can fufil them.

We youngsters also complain that there is nothing much to do in this country, that the only things to do are watching movies, shopping and sleep. Going overseas will give us a lot things to do. We can go mountain climbing in Korea, surf in Austrailia, rafting in Malaysia, join political rallies in France, take part in environmental conservation works in Brazil etc etc etc.

But this country cannot be blamed. We cannot change our physical size. The government has actually done its best. Practicality and connectness is the only way for this super small country to survive. Moving out of this country is much more difficult than we think.

I have been talking to Americans all these while. And racism is a very big issue there. In fact, racism is everywhere, the Chinese don't feel it here simply because the Chinese are the majority. Go to India and see you will get treated.

We always complain about how things are really expensive in this country. Yet a movie ticket in Australia costs A$13.50 . And mind you, the A$ is slightly bigger than S$.

Somehow I think we young people will still go ahead and move out of this country. After all, the world is truly one now. Bravery (but some might say ignorance) is all we have, and with that we will choose to take our chances and see what the world has to offer. But undeniably, Singapore is still one of the best places to live and retire, even though it is not a place of ample opportunites.

Everyone, scream with me: MY STITCHES ARE OUT!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!
After 2 weeks of immobility, after 2 weeks of reading Runners World to satisfy my hunger for sports, after 2 weeks worrying whether I can ever run again, my stitches are finally OFF!!!!!

I have to thank my doc for giving me soluble stitches, so in the end he only had to cut away the 2 ends, and not pull it out. I cannot imagine what will happen to me if that really happens. Yes, my threshold for pain is amazingly low. I have no idea why.

After this whole thing, I seemed to me that to be able to walk is such a blessing. Now I will massage my legs every night before going to bed , just to thank them for carrying my body weight. It must have been tough.

Naturally, my laptop was my best friend these 2 weeks. When one is trapped at home, turning fair and has done all the housework, the laptop is the best way to have fun. I have been talking to Americans lately, and really, they are so interesting!

In the states, Friendster is nearly dead. They do not use that anymore. Instead, they use MySpace, something like Friendster, only cooler, faster and with more functions. I ended up having a space there as well :P

The south is generally more conservative, while New Yorkers hate people from the middle east the most. Amazingly, many of them are just plain narrow minded and racist. I really do not see the need for this huge ego. They refer Chinese as chinks while Blacks as niggers. Oh please....

But that doesn;t mean there are no nice people out there. I got to know 2 of these people,namely Nydia from Florida and Seth from North Carolina. They are just sweet :) And the interesting thing is that Seth thinks all Asians knows karate, while Nydia thinks we grow things in Singapore, like corn and rice.Goes to show how misinformed the Western world can be.

Anyway, I am just plain glad I can move again and sweat it out there :) Time for my recent Top5 fav songs!


1.Cico Bell-Cocteau Twins
(this song is the one on the Superband trailer that appears everytime when the show starts, with Belinda, Milk and Jeff panting in the end. Gosh I love this song! )


2.Call On Me-Janet Jackson feat Nelly


3.Promiscuous-Nelly Furtado and Timbaland


4.Deja Vu-Beyonce feat Jay Z


5. A Public Affair- Jessica Simpson

World Cup is now officially gone. :( I have no idea why I feel a bit tad sad. After all, I am not that kinda soccer fan who will watch every single match. In fact, I watched only 2 : France vs Portugal and the Grand Final, France vs Italy. I should have watched every single one. It is so fun! I have no idea what has gotten into me, but I am now so much more interested in soccer! After witnessing Zidane's moment of madness, I actually went online to find out more about him, as well as Cristiano Ronaldo and Phillipe Senderos, captain of Switzerland and Arsenal defender.Gee, I cannot even believe I am writing this!

Previously I wrote that soccer is a form of pseudo war between nations, that this game raises the nationalist in everyone. Even if your country is not competeing, you can easily be the "citizen" of another and roar with the rest to victory. Now, in addition to that, I think soccer is actually pretty fun!!! To think I have not been playing it since 10 years old. Gee...what has gotten on to me?

Apart from my much increased interest in this form of sport, it seems that World Cup has also piqued my interest in the culture of all those European countries. Nowadays I have been going on to www.lonelyplanet.com to pore through the culture and history of all those European countries. I never knew that Europe is made up of 54 countries! And with strange names like Azerbaijan or Liechtenstein !

To me, the culture in Europe is far more richer than in the states. The states is very....hmmz....metro and commercialised...whereas Europe is saturated with history and taste. Don't get me wrong, I still love America, just that I find life in Europe to be more relaxing. Of course I am aware of the situation in East Europe. I have a friend who adandoned everything during his mid twenties to back pack there for 6 mths. Gee, I wish I can do that too! But I guess I am too much of a comfort creature to accomplish that. For now. Yes...this is going to be my new goal....to be free spirited and to travel to as many places as possible, for I am not only a Singaporean, but an Earthling :P

If given me a choice, I would wanna settle down in the Meditarranean Region. Mainly 'cause the climate is like Singapore, but milder. I love snow, but I cannot stand myself shivering in the cold and getting fair. I NEED SUN! haha...but Greek is too hard to learn, while Malta is a bit too small. Spain suits me just fine. Spanish is quite easy to learn. Kinda like English....

Gee...I am really thinking too far, but no harm dreaming big. Who knows, one day I might really be lounging along the beaches of Ibiza! :P But for now, the shortest way to get a long stay in a foreign country is to work hard in NUS and score a place in the student exchange programme! Wahaha!!!!

ok....i am stuck in the office....i am bored....so i have dumped in a lot of stuff about myself...all of which is true!

1. I just got my leg surgery. Yes, my leg is getting better day by day, BUT I still can't go out for sports!!!! ARGHHHH!!!!

2. I am a sports fanatic. Rock climbing, swimming, running, trekking, softball, hockey, netball and everything else...I play them and love them! Capoeira is next! :)

3. I am aiming for Project Superstar 2006, only because it has been a childhood dream to stand on stage and show people I can sing. I personally do not wish to have a career as a celebrity in Singapore, 'cause you have to be really good-looking like Julian or Fann to sell. Otherwise, you will just waste your life away in this extremly small market. Sadly, once you go on stage, people will recognise you and will point and talk about you all the time, even after the competition is over. Mentality of Singaporeans.....why can't people just treat these contestants as contestants and not fallen starlets? Is that so hard???

4. Starting college life in NUS in Aug! Going for Biology, though I have an inkling that I might switch to Arts to study New Media. Yes, being a gemini means I have a very diverse spectrum of interests, from astronomy to philosophy. Sigh...

5. I am only 47% gemini according to Blogthings,,,haha! That means , of all things, I ain't flirty at all! :P

6. I love to escape in the cinemas. Movies are my channels to different worlds . Movies are my inspirations. Without movies I will not die, but I will live terribly. ARGHHH!!!!

7. Music runs in my blood. Hit me with anything except techno and heavy metal.

8. I can sing Mandarin pop, English pop sound weird on me :O

9. The first impression I always give to people is that I am extremely unapproachable. That is beacuse I don't smile much, at least not to strangers. But once I get to know you, that will change immediately :)

10.Egoism destroys the world, while humility is the solution to everything.

11.I pity people with huge egos.

12.I don't go clubbing. I find it noisy and a wreck to your body. I rather sleep by midnight, unless of course there is a soccer match I have to catch, which seldom happens anyway.

13.Italy will win the World Cup, even though Zidane is amazing.

14.I love shopping, but I love saving up even more.

15.No, I am not a miser. I spend when I need to. Moderation is KEY! :)

16.I love Korea! I love their dramas! I love their fashion! I love their culture!

17.But I hate their rigid neo-confusciam mentality. Men can drag women on the floor and it is actually normal.

18.I love the states, particulary New York and FLorida.

19.I will wish to retire in either Italy or Spain. Greece is not bad too. But I think Greek is hard to learn.

20.I love reading. But I have short attention span. I have to switch to other reading materials within 15 mins.

21.My lack in attention span does not apply to relationships. I am a hopeless romantic for godsake!

22.Jodie Foster, Nicole Kidman, Sandra Bullock, Helen Hunt and Rachel Weisz are the 5 biggest actresses alive.

23.Keanu Reeves, John Cusak, Channing Tatum, Josh Harnett and Denzel Washington are the 5 biggests actors alive.

24.Mariah Carey is the biggest female singer in all aspects. Period.

25.Alicia Keys is a legend.

26.If I Ain't Got You, The Game Of Love and Sunday Morning are my three most fav songs.

27.I am running out of things to write.

28.I am running out of things to write!

27.I think I will eventually end up working for the United Nations. No kidding!

28.I work in Sentosa Service Quality Dept for now. Its fun!

29.Sea lions are the most beautiful creatures on Earth.

30.I strongly believe we are not alone and not the most intelligent in this universe.

31.All religions are good and moral. Extremists should just die.

32.I belive Singaporeans are too sheltered and naive for our own good. National Serivce should include females too, and a compulsory 6 mths overseas stay for all.

I have run out of things to say. Haha!

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Your True Love Is a Taurus

Why you'll love a Taurus: Romantic and sentimental, a Taurus can provide you with the security you need. And you both share a fondness for the finest things, from great food to luxury vacations. Why a Taurus will love you: You have the honesty and direct approach that down to earth Taurus desires. And enough elegance to show a Taurus a few new decadent delights!

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. Your feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself. Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

You Are Austin

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll. You're totally weird and very proud of it. Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way. Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick

You Belong in Barcelona

When it comes to Europe, you don't want to decide between culture and fun. You want art by day and a big party by night. Barcelona is ideal for you. You can check out some Picasso, eat some tapas, take a siesta, and then dance all night!

You Are 40% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

You are 67% Taurus

You Are 80% Gentleman

You are definitely a gentleman. You're very considerate and you have excellent manners. Occasionally, you slip and do something foolish... but usually no one notices!

Your Dating Purity Score: 84%

You are an innocent dater. You're either lacking in dating experience or have had a long serious relationship. Either way, there's still plenty of fish in the sea out there for you to sample!

You are 33% Gemini

You Are A Hornbeam Tree

You are a reserved person, looking in from the outside. Naturally attractive, you take good care of your looks. You are not egoistic, and you make life as comfortable as possible. You look for kindness in others - though you are seldom happy with yourself. A bit mistrusting and unsure, you dream of being swept away by someone unusual.

You Are Big Bird

Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around. You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy. You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you. How you life your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper."

Your Hidden Talent

You are both very knowledgeable and creative. You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential. Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them. As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.